Let me see if I can help here. I'll discuss how I would approach this and hopefully we can go from there or I'll revise to clarify if needed.
I would probably try to tackle this in one of the following ways - however I will state out front that I typically don't like to use relationship fields unless I have to, so I'll leave that bit of logic out for now. Hopefully someone else can answer how they would set it up via playa or relationship fields.
It sounds to me like you are looking for an approach that takes into account what the customer has selected previously and you want to generate a page based on those variables.
Make a multi step form on a single page and use scripting to control display logic and build the final url to forward to (your details page).
I tend to use this technique for many different sites where I need to gather up options and then send the user somewhere else based on that info.
Its fast and dynamic - but you'll need to know how to work with jQuery.
You could possibly load the selected item ID into the session and then read that variable on another page. Use the session class to do this and clear the session variables when you've reached a destination page.
Tack on a URL segment for the option selected. If your first page is product/page-one you could forward to product/page-two/option1 and then use the segment_n tag to grab the selected item and put it into a channel_entries tag. Follow that up with sending to your second option page like: product/page-three/option1/option2. Now you'll have both selected items via the url. The downside to this approach is that you'll need to set some protection if the user decides to remove a url segment or manually change the numbers in the url. You'll probably also need to set your channel_entries tags to dynamic="no" so that they don't try to use the URL segments to display the content directly.
Personally, I'd build a tabbed page and go with jQuery because I know I could set that up pretty quickly. I'd control the logic for matching up poles etc via class or id and change what is available for selection based on setting some variables as the user picks what they want.
Perhaps there is an EE extension that would help or maybe it would be easier via playa and setting up some parent/child relationships. I'm hoping someone else will provide input if that is the case