This question impossible to answer without benchmark numbers to compare against some sort of community accepted standards for acceptable ranges (which don't exist.)
Also, any list you come up with would be constantly changing and may miss the point of using Add-ons (or of using PHP in general, which is slow than C.) The point of these add-ons is largely the reduce development time. In some cases, you need the functionality now, and you can work on performance issues later.
However, there are things you can do.
To identify performance issues, turn on your debugging and query output. Generally it's easy to see that a certain add-on is creating a an unacceptable number of queries or queries which are resource intensive.
If you do find such an add-on, then you can minimize the performance impact by using one of the many caching options (assuming a front-end template and data which doesn't have to refresh with every page load.)
Contact the developer of the add-on to optimize the add-on or have another developer build a different add-on.
One important point to keep in mind is that most add-ons serve very general purposes, and that may require more resource usage than an add-on which is much more targeted for your exact situation. Often I have used a resource intensive add-on to get the functionality ready for launch and then later built my own replacement to deal with the specific functionality of the site.